Timing is crucial
by hummingbirdme
Summary: Sebastian is a Time-traveller. At the age of 17 he meets Kurt Hummel for what he thinks is the first time. However, Kurt has known him for years and now has to reconcile the differences between the future!Sebastian and the mean young version of himself.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note**  
>-About the timing of the story: anything before 2011 means Sebastian is travelling to the past. In this first part you will see the date 2019, but it is a continuation of the 2000 one (this might not make sense now but I hope it does once you've read that). I will set the action in the future (after 2011) to give snippets on Kurt and Sebastian's life together and how they deal with Sebastian's condition. And why not, to write Kurtbastian for Kurtbastian's sake ;)<br>-I am not following the book/movie much. In this fic Kurt doesn't know when him and Sebastian are going to meet 'naturally' because I think it is more interesting that way. Also, I think it's more fitting if Sebastian's parents are like Clare's are in the books/movie and Kurt's are like Henry's, which leads us to the next note.  
>- In this part there are some references to Mrs. Hummel's illness. In later chapter there will be some to her death but I will try to use them only if they are relevant to the story and focus more on how it affects Kurt and Sebastian than the death itself. However, I will let you all know in case it is triggering for someone and wants to skip it.<br>- I think that's all. I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think of it :D  
>-<p>

**Year 2000**

_Kurt Hummel sat on his favorite chair once all of the things needed for his daily tea party were perfectly placed –following all of the protocol instructions on how to set the table for such occasions- and his guest had occupied her seat. _

"_Mommy, would you like some more milk? Or maybe a biscuit?" Kurt asked excitedly to the woman sitting right in front of him. Anyone would have made the connection even without the kid calling her his mother. Her eyes were a mix of grey, green and blue which seemed to have been created by a painter determined to make his perfect piece of art, carefully choosing the colors so they would be filled with joy and lighted up whenever her gaze met the form of her smiling child or husband. _

_She was about to reply, with the huge smile still decorating her beautiful and delicate features, when she began couching loudly. Her happy face turned into an expression that was hard to decipher, worry? Maybe sadness? However when she realized that Kurt was looking at her she tried to smile again. _

"_It's ok, sweetheart. Mommy is ok. I am just going to go inside the castle to look for King Burt, alright? I'll be back in no time, promise me that you will stay here"_

_The blue eyed boy nodded and kissed her mother back before she went inside the house, taking another look at him before disappearing to go look for her husband._

_A 25 year old Sebastian Smythe had been contemplating the last part of the scene from behind the bushes, thankful for the fact that none of the Hummel's neighbors were around to see a naked man creeping through it –though admittedly he wasn't exactly creeping, but it would be hard to explain that he was just keeping an eye on the boy he loved who at the time happened to be six- . _

_His heart was breaking from what he had just witnessed. Judging from Kurt's age Mrs. Hummel had about two years left of life. She probably knew it and was willing to spend every second she could, sharing her time with her family and protecting her beloved son from all of the hurt that came with an illness like hers._

_Well, it was time to entertain the little boy and introduce himself to him, for the first time of what would be many years to come._

"_Hey, Kurt!" he called from his hiding place._

_Kurt narrowed his eyes at that and looked around offended. "I don't know any Kurt! I am Prince Kurt!"_

_Sebastian chuckled; always the diva, he thought "Oh right, right I am so sorry, Prince Kurt, my most sincere apology to you, Majesty"_

_Kurt seemed pleased with the new answer and he decided he was starting to like the owner of the voice. "Who are you? And how did you find my castle?"_

"_I will tell you all about it, Prince. But you need to do me a favor first… Could you lend me one of your Royal blankets?" _

"_Why should I?"_

"_Because you want to know how I got here and it is the only way I am telling you" Sebastian said, hoping five year old Kurt's mind worked like his older self's._

"_Hmm… Fine... BUT if it gets wrinkled or dirty or something like that I will introduce you to my very hungry pet dragon"_

"_Understood. Throw it over here, please your Majesty". Sebastian raised his hand so Kurt could see it. The kid hesitantly reached the blanket that was sitting on the grass and used all of his strength to send it in the direction of the raised hand._

_Once it was around his body, covering his exposed skin he came out from where he had been hiding and smiled at Kurt._

_His heart was racing, he knew things were going to work just fine, but explaining why he was there without giving too much away was hard._

"_Ok, I will tell you now but you have to be quiet until I'm done, ok? I don't have a lot of time… before I go back to the future"_

_Kurt just looked at him with wide eyes and then started laughing very loudly. _

"_Shhh, you don't want your parents coming out here now" he said, because as much as he loved the sound of Kurt's laugh the last thing he needed was Burt coming out with his shotgun in hand. _

"_But you are so funny! You can't be from the future because it has not happened yet, that is why it is called future, duh!" he said, laughing again though slightly lower._

"_I know it sounds weird but soon enough you will see I really am from the future. In a matter of minutes you will see me disappear but I will be back in two weeks, after your room is finally done being redecorated with the light blue and purple paper wall you love so much" he said. _

_Kurt was looking at him suspiciously now but he was also listening and Sebastian knew he had piqued his curiosity._

"_Do you know me in the future?" Kurt asked, giving him a look that said that the answer to that question was crucial in whether he would believe him or not._

"_Yes, we are… very good friends" _

"_Am I still a prince?"_

_It was Sebastian turn to laugh at how serious Kurt was "you are the prettiest prince of them all" he said with a fond smile. "In fact I am here to tell you something about it"_

"_What is it?"_

"_Look, sometimes other people are jealous of princes and they treat them badly. "_

"_Like in Snow White?"_

"_Exactly. The Queen is jealous of her because she is pretty and nice and she wishes she was a little bit more like her. But you have to promise me you will be like Snow White. You have to be strong, ok? No matter what people say or do, you have to know that you are the most perfect prince ever and that you don't have to change who you are." _

_Sebastian wanted to tell him about how in twelve years he'll meet a younger version of himself who would be completely rude and almost cruel to him, both because he was jealous of him and because even for the first time that he had laid his eyes on his walking figure something had told him that Kurt Hummel was the one and that single thought had scared him more than anything he had felt before._

_Kurt was clearly confused again, and Sebastian knew for a fact that even if he wasn't understanding him right then those words would help him in the future. _

"_Do you want some tea?" the blue eyed kid simply said, showing that he had decided to trust Sebastian, since his tea parties were sacred. _

"_I can't right now but we will have one in exactly two weeks. Oh, Prince Kurt? When I travel I can't take my clothes with me so could you lend me some of your father's? Leave them behind those bushes?"_

_Kurt smiled at him in agreement._

"_Be strong, Kurt. I'll see you soon" were the last things he said as he reached out to touch Kurt's cheek before he disappeared. There was one more thing that he had liked to say before leaving: "sorry for being one of those people who hurt you"._

**Year 2019**

Sebastian is then standing in the living room, in the exact same place in which he was when he travelled to the year 2000. His clothes had been picked from the floor, but they had also been replaced with a pair of his boxers. He checked the clock sitting on one of the tables '2:45 a.m.'

"Damn" he said under his breath. He was having dinner with Kurt before disappearing and he had left the other boy waiting for him once again.

After putting his underwear on he walked into the room Kurt and him shared as quietly as possible. Sebastian couldn't suppress a smile when he saw a slipping form tangled in the sheets, which he laid against of.

"I am sorry. I love you so much, my prince" he whispered, even though he knew the blue eyed boy couldn't hear him.

Sebastian didn't let sleep drag him for a long time. He didn't want to close his eyes because that meant that he had to stop looking at the angelic face he was just inches away from, and god knew that he didn't want to waste whatever time he had left with him before disappearing again.

**Year 2011**

Kurt entered the Lima Bean at six o'clock in the afternoon, like he always did to meet Blaine. Despite seeing each other every day the coffee dates were something they still did daily, it was their thing.

Kurt was in love for the first time in his life. Or better said he was in a committed relationship with someone he was in love with for the first time. There was another boy that he had come to love over the years but whom he spent several weeks or even months apart from.

Sebastian Smythe had been there to support him over some of the hardest times in his life: the day his mother died Sebastian had held them until he had fallen asleep, one of the days during his father's coma he had appeared in the hospital room… there was something that just kept bringing him to Kurt, like they were destined to be together.

Sebastian had always been Kurt's happy place. Even when they weren't together, just the thought of him made him feel instantly better.

Kurt had asked him many times before if they were together in the future, but Sebastian refused to answer that question every single time. 'I would love to tell you, Kurt; but if I do I will never know if things play out because I once told you to or if they really were meant to be'. As much as Kurt hated it, he understood it; it was Sebastian's way of saying 'what's meant to be will always find its way'. And oh, how Kurt hoped it was, or at least he had until Blaine had come into the picture.

He loved Sebastian deeply, he meant the world to him in ways that could not even be put into words; but Blaine was there, he _always_ was, he was more than just a thought or a memory.

Kurt had spent countless times thinking of what he would do if he ever had to choose between the two of them and even if admitting it was scary to him –the idea of saying goodbye to Blaine hurt so much at that point of their relationship- he picked Sebastian every single time.

Things, however, were about to change.

Yes, Kurt entered the Lima Bean at 6 o'clock like he always did; but when he spotted Blaine and his' table he saw something –or better said, someone- that made his hear stop beating for a while and made his knees weak to the point of having to support himself by holding the doorknob.

He was younger, but Kurt would recognize that smile and those beautiful eyes anywhere and at any time. Sebastian Smythe, his first love, was sitting there engaged in a conversation with his boyfriend.

Kurt closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remember if the older Sebastian had ever mentioned that encounter to him. And yes, he had, he had told him that they would meet at some point in the future –well, Kurt's future; Sebastian's past at the moment that conversation had been held- but he hadn't told him anything else because he 'didn't want to interfere in whatever it was that the destiny had cooked for them'.

_Damn it, Sebastian. What am I supposed to do now?_, Kurt thought, trying to be pissed at him for his need to protect their fate, though for some reason he had always found it really hard to be mad at Sebastian.

When he felt his heart beating again –maybe way too fast, then- he approached the other two boys, being careful to not to be seen by either of them, though he was pretty sure that Sebastian would not recognize him since he had never seen him looking so young in the past.

Before doing anything Kurt listened to their conversation. _'I have a boyfriend'- _wait, why were they talking about him?, Kurt thought and he was positive that he was about to have a heart attack right on the spot.

'_Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you'… 'He doesn't need to know'- _that thing about having a heart attack? Well, erase it; he didn't have a heart anymore because Sebastian flirting with Blaine was just too much for it to take.

Kurt needed to do something; he couldn't just stay there and listen, so without really thinking about it twice he got closer to the two boys. _'He's really great'._

"Who's really great?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible as he let his eyes roam up and down Sebastian's whole body, trying to capture all of the differences he found between him and his future self.

The moment Kurt offered his hand to Sebastian he knew he should have known better than to do something like that. He was proven to be right when the other boy shook it and a shiver ran down his spine, which he tried to hide since his boyfriend kept on nervously looking between the two of them. "Pleasure"

"And how do we know Sebastian?" Under different circumstances he would have laughed at that, because he really did know Sebastian well; but he was still to shocked to even think about joking. He knew that was a stupid question to ask since Sebastian was wearing the Dalton uniform –which he couldn't help but notice, looked amazing on him- but it was the first thing that came to his mind other than _'oh holy shit, never ever let go of my hand, please'._

When Sebastian began talking about the wonder that was Blaine he just had to cut him off, listening to him talk about other boy in that tone made him jealous to the point that it physically hurt. "Yes, he's even more impressive in the flesh" he said in a sharp way.

Sebastian next question totally caught him off guard. Why did he want to know what they were doing the next time? Did he want to hang out with them? Kurt didn't think he could survive through another meeting with the two of them so close.

" Well, we are rehearsing for the school musical and then, and then, at bed time we do a rigorous skin-sloughing regime over the phone together." Kurt didn't know if that possessive side had come out because he didn't want to lose Blaine to Sebastian or because he wanted to be the one that got lost with the taller boy; but deep inside he knew the latest option was the most likely to be correct. It was not the first time that he got jealous over Sebastian talking about some other boy.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the conversation had gone on without him listening. Not until he heard the words "I found the man on my dreams in the dance floor"

That pain he had been feeling since he had spotted the two of them together and that was quickly becoming rather familiar, hit him again, harder than before if that was even possible. Sebastian was in love with someone else? Was that the real reason behind him not wanting to discuss their future? Was it because they weren't together and the older Sebastian didn't want to crush Kurt's dreams and hopes?

"Are you two still together?" he asked doing his best to sound casual one more time and not like he was breaking inside, like he really was.

"Sadly, no, we broke up about twenty minutes after we met" That statement left Kurt completely relieved and more confused at the same time. The Sebastian he knew didn't seem like the one night-stand type.

He really needed some time alone with Sebastian, to know in which other ways he was different from his older version. He clearly had his eyes set on Blaine –Kurt refused to believe that his sudden anger at his boyfriend had anything to do with that- so if the only chance he would probably had to get Sebastian alone was to go out with the two of them, then so be it. The pain would be worth it if he just got to talk to him without Blaine watching their every move.

"We're in" Kurt finally said, much to the surprise of the other two boys.

That night Kurt was sleepless. He just couldn't take the Sebastian he had met that day out of his mind. So different and yet so alike… In just two days he'd be going to a gay club with the two men he was in love with, with one of them clearly being interested in the other. That made him nervous to the extent of wanting to throw up; but then he thought of the conversation he could possibly have with Sebastian, the idea of having him close, of feeling him around… and it managed to calm him down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note**

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who read/reviewed/liked/favorited… this story, I am so happy you are liking it so far.

About this chapter… It is angstier than I had planned it to be (sorry). There is Kurtbastian at the beginning and at the end, but it is a bit Sebastian-centric (we already know how Kurt feels about him now it's time to find out how Sebastian does). We also learn more about his backstory because it is relevant to whom he is and it will also be relevant to the Kurtbastian plot.

I promise next chapter will include past!Kurtbastian fluff and more present!Kurtbastian development

I hope you like this one. Enjoy!

**Year 2011**

_-Kurt's POV-_

The day in which Kurt Hummel was going to officially die had arrived, or so he thought as he lied in his bed, wide awake but still under the covers and blankets that seemed to make the reality a little bit more bearable, they served as some sort of protection against the outer world.

He knew he had no right to complain about what he had ahead of himself, because he had been the one to agree on meeting Sebastian at Scandals… _with_ Blaine, which was the worst part of it all.

The pain he had felt at the Lima Bean while seeing the two of them together was still present and made him shudder whenever he thought back on it and the way Sebastian had been looking at Blaine; but he desperately needed to talk to him or, as pathetic as it sounded, just see him.

It was also pathetic that he had spent the last two days hoping the older Sebastian would travel to his present to tell him what he was supposed to do or to teach him how his younger self's mind worked. He was even willing to beg –and everyone knew that Kurt Hummel was too much of a diva to be a beggar- in order to get a bit of information on how to act around the younger Sebastian, who seemed to be determined on making his life hell.

Truth be told, the 17 year old new Warbler made him miss the Sebastian he had come to know, and love, like the back of his hand over the years so much. It was hard to believe that they were the same person and even harder to hide his feelings of confusion and frustration at not being able to just wrap his arms around him and talk to him for as long he could –or better said, as long as they had before the older man disappeared, leaving him feeling so full of joy for what they had just shared and so empty at the same time- like he was used to.

Eventually, he got out of his comfort area and stepped into the shower. He stayed there for longer than necessary, just allowing the warm water to wash his worries and fears away –or at least, to make them more bearable- as if he had been painted a dark shade of grey for the first few hours of that morning and the water was diluting the paint into a lighter tone.

Kurt spent almost the rest of the day trying to pick the best outfit for the night. Every time he tried something on he pictured Blaine's face after seeing him for the first time that day; though his boyfriend's features, after a few seconds, transformed and suspiciously resembled the ones of one Sebastian Smythe.

About ten minutes before reaching the time in which Blaine had agreed to pick him up, he settled with a long sleeved purple shirt, a vest, dark –very- tight jeans and dress shoes, topping the outfit off with a cowboy black tie. Kurt had never been to a gay club before but after checking himself in the mirror he decided that it was good enough, mostly because those pants made his ass look fabulous. "For Blaine, of course" he lied to himself.

The ride to Scandals was kind of tense, maybe because Blaine had given him his fake ID and a couple questions later he was already confessing to have met Sebastian the day before to pick them up.

"Kurt, you know you are the only one that I have eyes for, don't you?" Blaine asked after ten minutes of awkward silence.

_I do, Blaine, what is killing me is that I can't say the same. I am not jealous of him… _Kurt though bitterly. "I know, Blaine. I'm sorry, it is not you that bothers me, so I have no right to be mad at you, it is him and the way he looks and talks to you, like he is undressing you with his eyes and… ugh I just wish he stopped" he said, not trying to hide the disgust he felt at that.

What he really wanted to say was 'I am mad at you because you get to spend time with him and he is lusting after you and he is mine… he has always been mine and he doesn't even know it yet…'.

Kurt wondered what had made Sebastian start traveling to his past at his late twenties if they had 'naturally' known each other since the age of seventeen. However, it was not the time or the place to start questioning those sorts of things, not when Blaine was talking to him and obviously waiting for an answer.

"Blaine, can we please stop talking about Sebastian?" he asked, both because he didn't know what Blaine had asked him and he didn't want him to know and question Kurt about what he was thinking about; and because it was honestly making him more confused and mad.

Thankfully Blaine agreed, though they didn't have much time to talk about anything else since they were just a couple minutes away from the club's parking lot.

Kurt's eyes widened when they entered the place. Did Sebastian really spend his free time there? He definitely was different from the man he knew, who always told him amazing stories about glamorous places in New York City. Kurt had never been to those kind of places but he was pretty sure that they didn't smell like… well, he didn't even want to think what Scandals smelled like because that would make him run away as fast as possible from there and ruin his chances of having a conversation with the Warbler.

When he saw the boy in question sitting on a bar stool with that stupid smirk in place he couldn't help but smile. He was not allowed to look so amazingly good and wear a jumper that he was sure would bring out the amazing color of his eyes, even in the darkness of the club.

Kurt was suddenly feeling very uneasy, all of his fears coming back to life with just one look at him. When they were by Sebastian's side he kept a safe distance, grabbing his own hands behind his back protectively.

When the taller man made the comment about him being the designated driver Kurt couldn't even begin to think of a witty comeback since he was too busy worrying about the contents of Sebastian's glass. Didn't he know drinking was bad for him? That it was one of the triggers for his time travels?

Kurt wanted to yell at him and take that glass out of his hands immediately, but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything with Blaine there and the frustration that came with it was almost too much, though the worst part was that he didn't even know if his anger was directed towards his boyfriend or towards Sebastian anymore.

However, once again, he managed to control his impulses and pretend like everything was going fine, which seemed to be the theme of his life, even if he had never ever imagined Sebastian could make him feel like that. Not when he had always been the one to take his hand and lift him up when he was about to give up.

That rush and mix of emotions went on for the rest of the night: he had felt jealousy and fury once again as he saw Blaine and Sebastian dancing which had quickly turned into some kind of strange desire as he had joined them on the dance floor.

For a few seconds Sebastian's body had been pressed against his. For a few seconds he had allowed himself to close his eyes and let his mind take him back to a night in which Sebastian and him had been slow dancing for what had seemed to be hours, though maybe it had just been a few minutes because –ironically enough- time appeared to stop, as did the rest of the world, when they were together. For a few seconds they were not in Scandals anymore, they were in Kurt's room, pressed together with only the sound of slow music playing in the background interrupting the sweet nothings being whispered in each other's ears.

Oh, how Kurt wished those seconds would have lasted forever, but Sebastian had pulled away immediately, almost as if Kurt's touch had burned his skin.

Kurt didn't know how, but suddenly he found himself alone in the parking lot staring at the place in which he had seen Blaine for the last time before his figure had metaphorically disappeared into the darkness of the road.

He went over the events in his head: Blaine had tried to kiss him and he had pushed him away because he was still thinking about Sebastian and feeling the ghost of his body heat on his and he simply couldn't do anything with his boyfriend while thinking about another person. Then, due to his drunkenness, Blaine had been a bit too pushy and they had had an argument before the shorter boy had walked away.

Kurt's anger was replaced by worry. If anything happened to Blaine because of a fight between the two of them he would never be able to forgive himself, so he decided to text him: _We have both said and done things we didn't mean. Let me know when you're ok, please. _

Just as he pushed the 'send' button he heard laughs and slurring voices getting nearer so he turned around only to find Sebastian himself with his hands around another –not attractive at all and with an awful fashion sense in his honest and totally objective opinion- man who was being pressed against the wall and whose neck was being regaled with kisses.

"Sebastian!" Kurt called before he could stop himself. He didn't know where that had come from or what the heck was he going to do next, but he guessed that the adrenaline and rush of jealousy that was then coming out of every pore of his body had something to do with it. _Shit_, he muttered when he saw the two men looking back at him with expression that must have mirrored his astonished one.

"I have been waiting for you forever, you told me to meet you outside and now I'm freezing. I need someone to make me hot again, which is exactly what you promised to do" he said in the most seductive tone he could muster. Sebastian looked like he was having an internal conflict on whether kill Kurt or pinch himself to make sure it wasn't a dream. The other man had freed himself from Sebastian's arms and was staring at him as if waiting for him to tell him what to do.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I saw him first" he said in a fake apologetic tone "but, if it helps, when I was in there earlier I saw a man who literally couldn't take his eyes off of you, you should definitely go find him" he lied with a smile on his face, and either he was better at acting that he gave himself credit for or the stranger was way too drunk, because at that he moved away from Sebastian with a shrug of his shoulders and went back inside.

"What the fuck was that about, Hummel? Did you fall off your high heel shoes and hit your dumb head?" Sebastian, who apparently had been in shock for the last few minutes, had now gone back to life and was approaching Kurt with a murderous look decorating his features.

" I was just trying to keep you from giving that poor man about five different STDs you know?…" Kurt said back.

"God, you are such a prude"

"And you shouldn't drink too much. It is not good for…" Kurt began to say angrily, though he was cut mid sentence by Sebastian, who had been ignoring him since his last comment and was instead looking around with narrowed eyes.

"Where is your knight in the shiny armor, lady face?" There was something in his voice that Kurt couldn't quite place, if the voice had belonged to any other person he would have said it was jealousy mixed with worry, but the only reason Sebastian was asking why Blaine wasn't there was probably because he wanted to try to have sex with him since Kurt had ruined his first option.

"None of your business, Timon... God, what the hell happened to y…" Kurt said but once again was caught off –and he didn't know how he felt about it, because if Sebastian had let him finish it would have probably led to a pretty awkward conversation about what did Kurt mean with that since he supposedly didn't know him at all- not by Sebastian's voice but by something he had done.

Somewhere in between their banter Sebastian had managed to get close enough to him and they were practically inches away from each other.

There was a tense pause. Sebastian appeared to be evaluating his options before finally speaking again, his eyes subtly dancing between Kurt's and his mouth, which the countertenor didn't realize because he was too busy doing the same thing and focusing on breathing and keeping his heart rate at a normal speed.

"So I don't get to know why you are here all by yourself ruining my _entertainment_ for the night instead of fucking your boyfriend in the backseat of a car?" there was that strange tone again, though his voice was now lower and almost raspy. "I'm not quite sure I like that deal, Hummel" Sebastian practically breathed against his lips, never fully pressing them against Kurt's.

After that they both stayed quiet looking into each other's eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of each other's souls through them. Kurt could see anger, frustration and something else that he was about to decipher -though he knew it had to do with the familiar warmness he was used to see reflected on those eyes- when his phone began to ring taking both of them out of the trance in which they apparently were.

Sebastian pulled away from Kurt just as fast as he had approached him, in a way that made Kurt think back on how he had done the exact same thing inside the club when their bodies had touched.

_-SEBASTIAN'S P.O.V-_

Sebastian took that 'Blaine! Oh my god, are… are you ok?' as his queue to leave.

Before doing so he looked back one more time and saw Kurt looking at him with almost pleading and sorry eyes, which he did his best to ignore.

He had been so close to losing the control he had of himself. He had been so close to… Kurt, to his lips, his skin, his intoxicating scent. He had been so close to letting his guard down.

_Fuck, Sebastian. What the hell was that about? When somebody ruins your chances of getting laid you punch them, not worry about them because they are all alone and then get close enough to them to kiss them- _he mentally scowled himself.

"A shot of absinthe. Don't you dare mixing it with water." he said in a menacing tone to the bartender, who knew better than to mess with him.

As he walked towards the bathrooms to see if there was anyone there having some kind of fun he could join, Sebastian could feel the liquid burning his throat and causing some sort of explosion inside his stomach. He was drinking more than he usually did, but nothing seemed to be enough. Nothing, not even numbness could wash his feelings away, the image of those amazing bright eyes so close to his…

Right before he opened the door that led to the bathrooms he had became so familiar with lately, the whole place began spinning around, slowly turning into a mix of shapeless colors and then into nothing but darkness. Sebastian knew what was coming and he could only hope that no one else was around to see him literally disappearing.

**YEAR 2009**

The next thing Sebastian knew was that he was fully naked in the middle of an empty alley unknown to him.

_It has happened again, great…- _he thought rolling his eyes.

After years of 'practice' he knew the procedure pretty well: let the dizziness fade away, find some way to cover his body –preferably in the form of boy clothing- and wait for something to happen before traveling back to his present.

Sebastian looked around but saw nothing except for a brick wall covered in posters. When he got close enough to read a couple of them he could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. One of them read: '_Manifestation nationale Mars 2009, place de la Republique'_

"Not again. I don't want to go through this again" he pleaded out loud, though he knew no one could hear him, which he was glad about because Sebastian Smythe never showed his weakness, and traveling to Paris in between the years 2008 and 2010 was definitely one of them.

He was shaking, not only because it was a pretty cold night, but because he was scared.

Sebastian desperately closed his eyes and prayed to a god he didn't even believe in to take him back to the present. "I don't want to look back on my past. Please, take me out of here, please, please, please…" If his eyes had been open a few tears would have escaped his eyes.

When he finally faced that there was nothing he could do to avoid it he opened his eyes again, and against his will, started moving.

He didn't know which part of his past was going to be played in front of him that night, but he knew it was going to hurt. Even what were supposed to be good memories hurt.

Finding clothes was never an easy task, truth be told his lock-picking and self-defense skills had gotten amazingly great over the years and even if he got caught it wasn't much of a problem since sooner or later he was bound to disappear. He didn't like what he had to do in order to survive, but it was necessary.

Without fully stepping out of the alley –the semi darkness of it kept his naked body covered by the shadows- he took a look around. There were no stores to be seen in the near distance, but he spotted a man walking towards where he was. He didn't seem to be too bulky so Sebastian knew that taking him down will be easy.

People who knew him in the present often believed that he enjoyed getting into fights or treating people poorly. He didn't. It was a self-defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt. When he did what he was about to do in the past, it was self-defense mechanism to avoid getting stuck in that time for longer than necessary.

The stranger walked pass the alley and didn't see a hidden Sebastian observing him. When his back was to him, Sebastian made sure that there was no one else around and came out of his hideout. "Hey you!" he yelled.

It only took one single punch in the right place to knock the other man down.

"I am really sorry, but I had to, I am sorry…" Sebastian said honestly to the unconscious stranger as he carefully dragged him into the alley. He knew he would wake up in not very long, so he had to act fast. With practiced gestures he quickly got dressed in clothes that were a bit too short for him and ran away from there as fast as he could, not daring to look at the man one more time.

A couple blocks away Sebastian found the reason why he was there, and also a way in which you could be alive while feeling your heart breaking to pieces on the inside.

"Gael" he whispered as the first tears left his eyes because he simply didn't have the strength to keep them from doing so anymore. He simply didn't have the strength to do anything but keep looking at the sight in front of him.

Yes, it was breaking his heart; but his desire and need to see his face again, even when pressed against another boy's, was bigger than the pain it caused.

It was 2009, they were still together back then so what he was witnessing was his first and only love cheating on him, something he didn't find out about until almost a year later.

He let a bitter laugh escape his mouth when he realized that his 15 year old self was, at that moment, sleeping peacefully waiting for the next day to arrive so he could spend as much time as he could in Gale's arms. How he wished he could protect him from all the pain that was yet to come to him.

"What if I can?" he thought out loud. His brain immediately started working at high speed: _I am only two years older, I am sure he is drunk so he won't even notice the difference. This is my time to step out there and tell him what I was never brave enough to tell him in the past, to be the one breaking his heart and possibly his nose before he can do the first thing to me. Yes. Yes, it is perfect._

His tears had been replaced with the cold sweat that came with a big decision like that. He was about to change his past and face the man that had turned him into a cold and manipulative human being.

Sebastian took one determined step to put some distance between him and the car he had been hiding behind and approach the kissing figures. Then a second, and a third. He was never noticed by them, they were too invested in each other's lips and skin.

When he opened his mouth to speak up and make them look at him he felt himself engulfed by the darkness again.

It will take Sebastian a few more years to understand that the past couldn't be rewritten.

**YEAR 2011**

A closed door in front of him. Loud music. A disgusting smell. His clothes on the floor. Tears.

That is what Sebastian noticed when his feet touched the ground again. He wanted nothing else than to fall to the floor, wrap his arms around his legs and cry his heart –or what was left of it- out; but he would not the risk the chance of letting anyone see him like that.

Instead he whipped his tears away and quickly put his clothes back on.

He didn't know why, but his whole body was aching for one particular someone. Just thinking about him and the closeness of his body mixed with his scent made him feel a little bit more alive. The strangest thing was that what he was craving from him wasn't even anything sexual. All he needed was to see his face and to maybe be held by him. Something about Kurt Hummel made him feel protected, and that was scary.

It was a long shot, but he had to give it a try. So Sebastian rushed outside, where he had last seen him, to find an almost empty parking lot. No trace of Kurt.

"Hey sexy, what about we continue where we left off? Your little friend is not around anymore" said a voice behind him.

Sebastian gulped loudly and whipped the last tear away before turning around.

Nobody would make him feel anything compared to what Kurt could, but wasn't that what he had been aiming for ever since Gale? To feel absolutely nothing?

"Of course, just let me take another shot before I rock your world, baby" he answered, putting all of his walls around him one more time.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**

First of all I am so so so sorry for the late update. The last week and the beginning of this one have been insane! As I have said to some people I am trying to update twice a week, but sometimes it's hard. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up over this week end.

Also thank you very much for all the reviews, messages etc that you have sent me. It means a lot :D I'm really happy you are enjoying the story

Regarding this chapter: there is interaction between past Kurt and future Seb; future Seb and future Kurt (involving a light make out session :p); present Seb and present Kurt and also between present Seb and future Seb. I tried to make the time changes as clear as possible, but if anyone has any doubts about it (or about any other part of the story) please message me and I will try to explain it better.

Last but definitely not least: **HAPPY GLEE WATCHING!**

**YEAR 2000**

And adult Sebastian grinned happily when he finally stepped on solid ground again and found a pile of clothes neatly folded behind the bushes where he had just appeared. The smile never left his face as he got dressed and observed the scene that was playing out in front of him, just like he had done the first time he had been there.

Sebastian desperately wanted to let Kurt know he was there and spend as much time as possible talking to the kid; but another part of him wanted to observe him for a little while –not in a creepy way; but more in the way in which you look at the person you love while they are sleeping- and take in every single detail (how relaxed the six year old seemed, the loud laughs that he regaled the world with every once in a while when he thought of something funny, how lost he was into his fantasy of being a Prince hosting a very important tea party…). At that moment Kurt was nothing but a happy kid full of imagination and creativity that no one had ever tried to take away from him yet.

Eventually that part of Sebastian that wanted nothing else than to take mental pictures of that carefree and cheerful Kurt, decided to step aside to let the other part –the one that craved to make his presence known- reveal itself.

"Psst, Prince" he said in what was almost a whisper.

Kurt, however, heard him and looked directly at the source of the voice. "Are you dressed?" he inquired.

Sebastian let out a small laugh "I'm glad to see you too, you know? Yeah, yeah, I'm great, thank you so much for asking!" he said ironically.

"I was going to ask you that! But I have made it a rule to only talk to people that is dressed correctly!" Kurt replied rolling his eyes, though the annoyance was perfectly clear in his voice alone.

"I am perfectly dressed in the clothes that your majesty so kindly left here for me, thank you" he eyed the outfit, which was clearly Burt's: a plaid oversized shirt, a pair of loose jeans and shoes that were just a size too small for him but that he wore nonetheless to avoid offending Kurt. "Are you going to ask me how I am now?" he teased.

"Yup. But I have made it a rule to not to talk to bushes either" Kurt replied matter-of-factly, as if bushes tried to engage him into a conversation on a daily basis.

"Your loss, bushes are some of the most interesting creatures to talk to" Sebastian played along, though the teasing tone was still there "Are the queen and king around?"  
>"They are inside, talking to the wizard who has transformed my room into a big Prince's one.<p>

It was obvious that Kurt was proud of having a new decoration that surely matched his newly acquired maturity after having turned six years old. It only made Sebastian's smile grow fonder and wider, if it was even possible.

Sebastian finally stepped out of behind the bushes. Future Kurt had told him that Burt would not catch him visiting until years later, so he was safe.

When he was right in front of Kurt Sebastian bowed exaggeratedly, this seemed to please the kid. "At your service, prince"

"Of course you are"

Sebastian felt a new wave of laughter building in his chest and he couldn't help but let it out. Their little banter had really been going on since the very beginning, and it was nice –something that he would never admit to Kurt- to see that his future husband had always been able to keep up with it and challenge Sebastian with legendary comebacks; even at such a young age.

_You really are something else_- Sebastian thought before saying "Easy there, I am part of the royalty myself; and just so you know the future royalty is much more powerful than it is now. I could have your castle invaded in no time" he threatened in a feigned serious tone.

Kurt shot him a look that said something like 'I would love to see you trying' as he asked "are you married to a princess or a queen?"

"What tells you I am not the prince or the king that someone else is married to?" Sebastian asked -after the initial panic at the question left his body- both to get some more time to think of an answer and to tease Kurt a bit more.

"Well... I could tell you but if I did you will leave before answering my question… the list is reaaaally long" he said with a playful smile on his face that told Sebastian he wasn't really trying to offend him. "So, is your wife a princess?"

Sebastian gulped loudly, running a hand through his hair nervously. He contemplated not answering but that would have only made Kurt more curious; he didn't have the heart to lie to him either, so after a few seconds of internal conflict he settled with telling the truth without giving too much away.

"He is a prince, just like you" he said as he kneeled down so he was at eye level with Kurt. He knew it was an important and serious conversation and it was vital to him that Kurt understood him perfectly and to give him the trust to ask him any questions he had in mind.

Sebastian was a firm believer in not letting Kurt know about their future together to make sure that he made the choice to be with him for himself; but he was also a firm believer in being there for Kurt whenever he needed him. That conversation plus some others that they were yet to have would probably make Kurt come to terms with who he was more easily; but they would not transform him completely.

"But you are a boy. A prince can't marry another prince"

"Why do you think a person marries another person?" Sebastian asked, knowing that even if Kurt was just a kid he was mature for his age and you could have those sorts of conversations with him easily.

"Because they want to be together forever, duh"

At that you could practically see heart shaped forms coming out of Sebastian's eyes. "And why do they want to be together forever?"

"Because they love each other. You ask really silly questions, you know?" Kurt stated raising his eyebrows as if he was questioning Sebastian's sanity.

"Well, I love the Prince I'm married to so, so very much. Do you believe me?" Sebastian asked looking into Kurt's eyes and impatiently waiting for his answer while the kid gave it some thought.

Kurt tilted his head and looked at Sebastian curiously. "Hmmm… you told me you will be here today and you came… I think I can trust you. Yes "

"Thank you, prince. I want you to remember this conversation, ok?"

Before Kurt could answer Sebastian saw his surroundings beginning to blur, knowing that he only had a few seconds left there. Before disappearing completely he told Kurt the date of his next visit and caringly brushed his fingertips against the kid's hand for the fraction of a second.

**YEAR 2019**

Sebastian appeared again in his apartment and when his vision cleared he spotted the adult version of the kid he had just been with staring at him with what could only be described as a naughty grin decorating his angelic features, which was a beautiful contradiction that Sebastian absolutely adored.

"Welcome back" Kurt said, not meeting his eyes but looking further down.

At that moment –he had been too distracted staring back at Kurt to notice anything else- Sebastian realized that he was completely naked and that his clothes were nowhere to be seen.

"Enjoying the view, baby?" Sebastian said, grinning at his husband, though he still was not looking at his face.

"Don't flatter yourself, love, I am a horny man whose husband is always away. My eyes would be glued to anything that looked remotely sexual"

"Hm, yeah, sure… then I guess it is a coincidence that my clothes have magically moved to somewhere where they can't be found, uh?" Sebastian whispered in Kurt's ear once he was close enough to him and his arms were around his waist, pulling him flat against him.

"Of course it is. Maybe they are time travelling clothes as well and are currently visiting the factory in which they we-were-ma-oh shit Seb"

Kurt wasn't able to finish his sentence because Sebastian's lips had found his neck and were expertly sucking at a certain spot that never failed to make Kurt moan.

"What was that about travelling clothes? I don't think I got the last part" Sebastian breathed against Kurt's skin before running his tongue over the spot he had been sucking and nibbling at.

"You are a fucking idiot" Kurt half whimpered while cupping Sebastian's face with his hands.

"You love it when I am" was the last thing Sebastian could say before Kurt's tongue pressed itself against his lips and he eagerly parted them to allow him access.

Even in a kiss like that -full of lust, need and passion- they could both feel the love and trust they shared. The way in which Sebastian was letting Kurt take control and move his tongue inside his mouth as if it was the first time he got the chance to explore it meant that he was extremely sorry for not being home more, for not spending enough time with him and for making him worry about his whereabouts or whether he'll make it home in less than two weeks.

Kurt's hands tracing patters on Sebastian's bare skin and the way in which his lips were then moving against the other man's, softly but still passionately, meant that he forgave him, that he understood it was not his fault and that he knew Sebastian wished he could spend every single moment in the present; with him.

Just like that, with gestures -such as Sebastian taking Kurt's shirt off and worshiping every single bit of skin he found with kisses and caresses and licks; or Kurt running his hands through Sebastian's hair gently- they were telling each other more things than they would having a spoken conversation. Every caress was an 'I love you' and every kiss, or hum, or new piece of clothing dropping on the floor was an 'I can't live without you'.

Sebastian was lying Kurt down on their bed when they heard a loud noise coming from the living room, as if something had been shattered.

"Oh no, no, no, no, fuck!" Sebastian mumbled moving his face away from where it was buried in Kurt's neck.

"What's wrong? What was that?" Kurt said, his voice higher than usual, as he moved to a sitting position.

"It's me"

"You? But you are right h… oh… you mean, today's _that_ day"

"I am so sorry baby; I will make it up to you once he's… once I'm gone"

Sebastian looked at Kurt with apologetic eyes, hating the fact that their relationship seemed to involve a lot of those kind of looks every time Sebastian's condition got in the way.

"Come on, get dressed and go before I tie you down to this bed and the seventeen year old you walks in on us… though now I that I think about that and if I remember correctly he might actually enjoy that…" Kurt said with a fond laugh, indicating Sebastian that he wasn't mad.

They kissed one more time, sweetly, before Sebastian pulled away and took a couple of shirts, boxers and sweatpants from the closet; dressing himself and taking the rest with him.

Sebastian remembered that day. At the age of seventeen he had had his second conversation with his older self –the first being on the day he discovered he could travel through time-.

He had told Kurt that it will happen one day and they both had agreed to keep their framed pictures as a couple out of sight because at that age Sebastian wasn't quite ready to learn how things played out between them; that was something he had to figure out by himself.

Much like he did with the younger Kurt, the older Sebastian will only help him accept and come to terms with certain things.

"Hello there" he said, smirking at the younger version of himself, ignoring the fact that there was a broken vase on the floor which, he remembered, had been exactly on the spot where the seventeen year old had appeared at "I know you enjoy showing your body off but I think you should put these on".

The teenage Sebastian looked at him wide eyed and with his mouth hanging open. In a matter of seconds, though, he was hiding his feelings behind his trademark smirk one more time.

"It is ok to feel things, you know? I know for a fact that you are surprised and a bit scared. I was where you are at some point, after all"

The younger man opened his mouth as if he was going to argue but closed it again, thinking twice about it, because there really was no way of fooling his older self. "Nice place. Not that I expected anything less from myself, but still…"

The owner of the house chuckled, dying to tell him that it was all thanks to Kurt, but biting his tongue in time to stop himself from doing so. "Take a seat; there is a conversation we need to have so I can go back to the very sexy and very naked man waiting for him in there" he said with a wink, nodding towards the room. He could have sworn he heard Kurt's laugh coming from there at that.

"Oh yeah, I already love my future life!" The younger Sebastian exclaimed, though admittedly he believed that the man waiting in there was nothing but another one night stand.

"Why do you think you're here?"

"To learn that I'm doing things right and that, because of that, at some point all of these" he looked around "will be mine?"

The older Sebastian sighed at his younger's self cockiness, which he new was nothing but a façade.

"Quite the opposite, actually. I believe you are here to learn that, as I said before, having feelings it is not a bad thing; keeping them in is. Don't you dare interrupt me" he chastised the teenager, knowing that he was about to try and disagree with what he had just said. "Look, I know you don't want to hear this but you are going to anyway" his voice was authoritative enough to make the seventeen year old go quiet. Yes, he was glaring at his older self, but at least he was listening.

"Gael hurt you; going to the past and seeing it all again hurts. But you need to realize that you have the power to stop going there. It is very important that you understand this, Sebastian, I should have told you that first time, but –ironically enough- I didn't have enough time to tell you all about our… condition"

The young boy nodded. His walls were finally down, even if just for a few minutes. "I'm listening"

"You cannot control where you travel to, but it is directly linked to your thoughts and emotions. Right now all of those are focused on Gael. You hate him for turning you into what you are…; you keep wishing you could go back in time to change what happened or just to tell him all of the things you weren't brave enough to say back then. As a result those scenes keep replaying in front of you. Just like you are here today because you have been wishing you had someone to talk to, someone who understood you."

He could see tears welling up in the younger Sebastian's eyes. Pulling him into a tight hug he said "You think you can't love because you heart is broken; but you are wrong. You really don't have to come all the way here to have someone to talk to, and I know you know that; and I know it's scary as hell… but I promise you it will be ok"

Not another word was said between them. The adult let the Warbler cry in his arms, a silent understanding between the two of them, until eventually he disappeared, leaving nothing but the clothes and a bittersweet feeling on Sebastian's stomach behind. He still had a long way to go and a lot of mistakes to make.

"Hey" Kurt said softly, stepping out of the room in a pair of boxers.

"Hey" Of course, sharing those kind of moments with Kurt made it all worth it.

"I am so proud of you"

Sebastian closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together. "I owe it all to you" he whispered, taking his shirt off and sweetly moving them to the bedroom again.

**YEAR 2012**

When Sebastian travelled back to his time, his older self's words were still echoing in his mind.

Talking to someone who knew you so well was definitely strange, but it was something he had needed.

Luckily he had traveled to the year 2019 right after parking his car outside the Lima Bean, where he was then. After putting his Dalton uniform back on he took a few minutes to sort his thoughts out and try to make sense of what had just happened and the new information he had been given.

He understood that the places where he traveled to where linked to his emotions, the problem being that he didn't know how to control them. He spent so much time trying to keep them at bay that when he let his guard down they all came out like a tsunami.

'_You really don't have to come all the way here to have someone to talk to'_. That was true. Sebastian pushed people away on purpose and it were not the first time that he found himself regretting doing so.

As if on cue with his thoughts he spotted a dark blue navigator being parked not far from where he was. His heart sped up when a slim boy dressed in tight jeans and a white button up shirt covered by a yellow cardigan came out of it.

Sebastian waited until he had entered the café to do the same.

As he had predicted, since Kurt had entered the place alone and Blaine's car was nowhere to be seen, the dapper boyfriend was surprisingly not there.

Sebastian wanted to stop himself from walking towards the blue eyed boy, but something about him was so damn magnetic, and his body seemed to be ignoring the orders his brain was sending, his legs moving to their own accord to close the distance between the two of them.

_-KURT'S P.O.V-_

Kurt was about to order his coffee when he spotted none other than Sebastian Smythe coming his way.

It took all his strength to fight back the smile in which the corners of his mouth were starting to curl into. _You are supposed to hate this Sebastian, Kurt, not to be in love with him_. Pretending that was easier when Blaine was around to remind him that he already had someone to love and that Sebastian was far from being the man he knew. Unfortunately his boyfriend was at home, pretending to be the perfectly straight kid while his grandmother was visiting his family.

"Sebastian, how many times do I have to tell you? Animals are not allowed inside the café. Maybe at Scandals… but this place is actually clean and somehow classy". Kurt was surprised at how he had managed to say that without his voice sounding shaky or giving away how nervous he felt and how his knees always seemed to fail to support his weight whenever Sebastian was close.

"Really? Well then you better leave before someone sees you, I mean, being Blaine's lapdog and all I don't think you should be allowed to enter"

"Oh and here I was thinking that Dalton offered a higher education than that… can you not tell the difference between the first and third person? Because I believe you are the one willing to do anything to catch Blaine's attention. Quite desperately, I'd say."

"Well someone has to; I'm still not sure how he can get it up while being with a girl"

Sebastian said the last sentence without quite meeting Kurt's eyes, something the latter didn't exactly know how to take. Either way he didn't want to keep insulting Sebastian; he had a feeling their banter was slowly turning into something hurtful that none of them wanted.

Kurt ignored the last comment and made his order. Sebastian did the same, asking for a shot of Courvoisier in his drink.

"No Courvoisier, Maya" Kurt said to the bartender, who he had befriended a long time ago. The girl nodded and went to prepare their drinks before Sebastian could add anything else.

"What is wrong with you? Have you made it your life mission to ruin my life and all the fun I try to have, Hummel? First that stupid 'I saw him first' act at Scandals, now this... the fact that you are a pru-"

"I care, ok? Alcohol is not good for you" Kurt said before he could think twice about it.

They both stared at each other for a good half a minute. Kurt was trying to think of something to say to fix it, to make it look like he meant something else by 'I care'; but came out blank.

For those thirty seconds he could see that familiar warmth in Sebastian's eyes one more time, before they went cold again.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me, let alone someone like you" Sebastian hissed, though he still sounded a bit taken aback and unsure.

Their drinks were served at that moment, but none of them reached out to grab them.

"That's too bad, because I don't believe you for a minute. You can try to push me away all you want, I'm not backing off. With every hurtful comment you make towards me or any of my friends you only manage to prove that you are not happy with the way you are living and I… can't take it" Kurt knew it was not the time nor the place to have that conversation; but he had been trying to fight his feelings back for so long.

He loved Sebastian, he cared about him and he just couldn't stand there and watch him ruin his life. He had to become the man he knew, he had to be somewhere inside him; sometimes Kurt could see him trying to escape through Sebastian's eyes.

"I… I have to go"

Kurt didn't try to stop him. Instead he held on to the hope of believing that Sebastian would think about what he had said to him and realize that he didn't have to be like that; that he could trust Kurt.

_-SEBASTIAN'S P.O.V-_

It was too much. Both his older self and Kurt had told him things he didn't want to face; that he couldn't face.

The thought of trusting Kurt and letting him in was so tempting but at the same time seemed so dangerous. He wasn't ready.

The problem was that for what he had seen so far the other boy was stubborn as hell. If Sebastian wanted to stop him from trying to get close to him he had to do something big; something that he didn't want to do but that was necessary to prevent any further and graver damage that would surely occur if he let Kurt into his messed up life.

People thought Sebastian was selfish; in reality he acted the way he acted partly to save the others the burden of befriending or loving a person that literally disappeared into thin air.


	4. Note from the author a year later!

Hey everyone! Oh god, I can't believe it's been a year since I last updated this story.

First of all I wanted to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, to everyone who has taken the time to read it and leave reviews etc. it meant the world to me when I got a new message from

Second of all, I am extremely sorry for abandoning the story. This year has been very complicated for me in a lot of ways and I didn't even have the time or mental strenght to think about writing but things are much better now and I am writing again!

I don't know how long it'll take me to upload the new chapter (bear with me, I haven't done this in a while) but I promise I'm getting at it.

Thank you again. Much love,

hummingbirdme


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